


My Better Half is Part of Me

by PennamePersona



Series: Clinic AU [16]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: F/F, Falling In Love, Fluff, Girls in Love, Introspection, Trans Calliope, coming to terms, family help
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-03
Updated: 2016-01-03
Packaged: 2018-05-11 07:49:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,657
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5619241
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PennamePersona/pseuds/PennamePersona
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Roxy Lalonde is a pro at being chill. Also at panicking in her cousin's apartment. Which she may have broken into.</p><p>Calliope is not who she sometimes has to pretend to be. She's so much better.</p><p>And the two of them together equal something very special.</p>
            </blockquote>





	My Better Half is Part of Me

**Author's Note:**

> I know, I know, I should be posting the next chapter of Milestones, BUT. Hear me out.
> 
> Roxycallie.
> 
> There, I said it. Also, I'm close to finishing it! Just one more perspective should be it.
> 
> But we'll see, right?

Maybe it's odd, for you to be thinking this now, sitting on your cousin's couch, in his apartment, which you recently broke into.

 

But it doesn't feel odd for that reason. It feels odd because, somehow, you never really expected this? It just seems so...off, from what you (and everyone else, to your knowledge) were expecting.

 

So, here you are. Sitting somewhere you know is quiet and set up just right for thinking. If it wasn't, Dave definitely wouldn't be living here. Rose's apartment is probably nice, too, but you can't be certain she's out of it. Dave's in a meeting with your uncle (okay, maybe uncle? You've always called him your uncle, but you're not technically related...ah, family is confusing!), which will keep him busy for another hour at maximum, more likely forty minutes.

 

And you need to think. Alone. Somewhere no one will look for you, except for maybe Dave and Rose and Dirk, and it isn't such a big deal if they find you.

 

You had thought, before, that if this happened, it'd be Jane...and it was, at least somewhat, before. But now. With her...her. Her, her, her, you still repeat it in your head as a force of habit. As something you consciously decided, to validate her.

 

...When did this even happen?

 

You sigh. You aren't sure, yet, if you're going to bother getting out of here before Dave shows up.

 

 

* * *

 

 

You are very glad, now, that you've not yet connected to each other in live time. You are blushing plenty without Roxy having heard your gasp at seeing her face for the first time, which would be ridiculously embarrassing.

 

She's just so...pretty.

 

And real.

 

The picture you sent her is of you in cosplay because, right now, that's as close as you can come to feeling natural and comfortable in your own body. It's nothing close to being as real as she is, which you know you can't help, but...

 

But.

 

It's hard not to feel embarrassed.

 

UU: oh my goodness, roxy, yoU look so pretty!

 

UU: mUch better than i do...

 

UU: bUt nevermind that. thank yoU for sending me this! i feel honored to see sUch a lovely face. ^U^

 

TG: callie, are you kidding me???

 

TG: you look fantastic!!!!

 

TG: also thank u

 

TG: *blushes prettily*

 

UU: *joins in the blUshing*

 

Silly of you to add in that self-deprecating line, but you have such a hard time not automating to it. You don't necessarily mind some aspects of your body, but most of it is just so wrong for who you are and it just -

 

"Caliborn! Come downstairs!"

 

Naturally your father would be home today. You sigh and send Roxy a quick goodbye, apologizing for having to leave so soon and calling her pretty again.

 

"Coming!" You yell back downstairs.

 

Time to put the mask back on again, you suppose.

 

 

* * *

 

 

"So," Dirk says from the doorway. "Should I call Alpha Bro, or is this just a thing that I don't tell Dave about?"

 

"Call him if you like," You say. "I may or may not be gone by the time Dave comes back."

 

There's silence, and then Dirk plops down on the couch next to you.

 

"So." He says, staring straight ahead. "I'm guessing this is about Callie."

 

You sink down further on the couch and put your hands over your face.

 

"Dirkie, I have no idea what I'm doing." You groan. "I've never...I mean, not like this! And it's Callie."

 

"I know." Dirk says. "Anyone who knows Callie would get it."

 

"She's such a sweetheart!" You say, tossing your hands in the air. "I can't hurt her! I'd never want to! But. I mean, Dirkie."

 

You look at him, now, and you think your expression must be pleading (as if Dirk is actually better at this than you).

 

"I don't know what to tell you, Rox." He says, shrugging. It might sound dismissive to someone who hasn't known Dirk Strider since forever, but you can see the sympathy and the discomfort at not knowing what to do written all over him. "Crazy as it is to say, I think that Dave would actually have better advice for you."

 

"I know, right?" You say. "It's nutso. You'd think we'd be going to Rosie for this, but instead here I am, on Davie's couch, waiting for business boy to get out of his meeting and tell me how to make a move on a lady."

 

"It's fucking surreal." Dirk says.

 

"Tell me about it." You reply. "But he and Jadey have been doing so well."

 

"True." Dirk acknowledges. "Still weird as shit, though."

 

"Oh hell yeah." You say. "No argument there."

 

The door opens, then, and you and Dirk turn to see Dave standing with one hand on his doorknob, keys still inserted, looking intensely unimpressed.

 

"Again?" He deadpans.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Oh dear, oh dear, oh goodness motherfucking gracious.

 

You are not certain at all that you are ready for this. But you have to be! Not because she'd push you, you know that none of your friends would do that. But you want to be ready for this. You've put it off, and she's understood, but the comments she makes sometimes just...

 

You want to see her.

 

"Alright," You say to yourself. "Time to do this thing."

 

You click the video icon on your screen. It rings once, twice, and stops. There's a brief moment, where there's no pure connection and you still have half a second to back out of this, if you want. You swear your heart stops, or maybe you're just existing between heartbeats at the moment.

 

And then it connects, and there she is, in all her glory. Roxy Lalonde, tispyGnostalgic, your best friend and one of the few people who really seems to understand and accept you.

 

"Callie!" She shouts, loudly enough that you hope her mother is not home to disturb, even if Roxy says she probably wouldn't care. "Hey!"

 

"Hey to you as well, Roxy." You say, probably flushed. You're terribly flustered.

 

"It's great to see you!" She says, her enthusiasm incredibly contagious.

 

You find yourself grinning.

 

"It's quite lovely to see you as well," You say, smiling in a soft kind of way. When you see her eyes gentle, your heart skips, and you begin to experience something you'd never thought was possible.

 

 

* * *

 

 

"What do you mean you're not dating."

 

"What the heck else could I mean?! I mean we aren't dating!"

 

"You said she was coming to live here!"

 

"She is!"

 

"And you still haven't sorted this out?!"

 

"No!"

 

"I thought she was coming up because the long-distance relationship was getting too tough!"

 

"It was, a bit! But that wasn't all!"

 

"Of course it wasn't, but still! She's moving because of you, at least in part!"

 

"People can do that platonically!"

 

"I know that! _I did that_! But this shit is not platonic!"

 

"...how can you be so sure?"

 

"Roxy...for fuck's sake. Do you even have functioning eyes."

 

"You know, that probably wasn't the most considerate way of putting it, but you do have a point."

 

"I'm gonna say thanks, Dirk. Thanks is what I'll say, instead of "gosh, you're a dick." I'll say thanks."

 

"Much appreciated."

 

"You're fucking welcome."

 

"Okay! So, male bonding time, nice, nice, always a good time. Quick thing, though: what the fuck are you talking about?!"

 

"You two are so ludicrously in love with each other that it sometimes makes me want to vomit in my mouth a little."

 

"Wow, look who's talking."

 

"Thank you."

 

"Shut the fuck up! I mean...you really think Callie's in love with me?"

 

Dave and Dirk both give you a look that's nearly identical in terms of disbelief, and then Dave busts out laughing so hard that you're nearly concerned.

 

"Oh boy," He says. "Emotional illiteracy sure does run in the family."

 

"Yeah," You say. "I'll give you that."

 

 

* * *

 

 

Coming out was a real trip. You're not sure what you would have done without the support of your friends (Dirk even had a cousin who he had talk to you about it all, which was nice. Dave is a very confusing person in the same way Dirk and Roxy are, but you've decided you like him). It took a while for Jane and Jake to understand, but now that they do, they've been so supportive...!

 

But regardless, here you are, packing boxes. So cowardly of you to wait to say it until you were moving out anyway, but you've never wanted to actively seek pain. That's more Caliborn's thing, and he never gets to infect your personality again. You're done with Caliborn.

 

You're armed with relatively few belongings and a promise of freedom for yourself when you leave your former home, one thought running through your mind:

 

You are never being Caliborn again.

 

 

* * *

 

 

You help Callie unpack in her new apartment, which is only a block away from yours (you can't pretend to be unhappy about this). You're terrified the whole time, gently placing her clothes in her closet, making notes so you can sneak in later and give her new ones without her initial knowledge. What are friends for, right?

 

Friends. You'd still be friends, you know that. You love her, you've loved her for ages, and Dave and Dirk have made you admit to more than you thought possible. So maybe, maybe this is worth the risk. Just...maybe.

 

You turn, and there she is. There she always is, isn't she? She's smiling at you so gently, just like that first time you videochatted, and you melt.

 

When you lean to kiss her, you can hear her surprised little chirp, and you pull back, only for her to follow and then

 

And then

 

Oh, and then. You could kiss her forever, short and sweet, and it'd be perfect.

 

You don't realize how widely you're smiling until it interferes with the kissing.

 

 

* * *

 

_Finally._

**Author's Note:**

> kudos comments yes and YES. 
> 
> pennamepersona.tumblr.com or here
> 
> I love talking about this verse seriously there are no stupid questions I love this verse please talk to me about it I am not above begging
> 
> [Buy me a coffee!](https://ko-fi.com/A375K8Q)


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